So since my last post, I’ve spent most of the past week trying to get into the ‘Christmas spirit, by watching Christmas movies, doing some shopping for our first family holiday, and just spending quality time with close friends and family.
One of the films I ended up watching was ‘Bad Moms’ yes judge me , I did really feel bad for sticking it out after having to listen to all the profanities and offensive jokes.
Don’t you just hate it when the a good film turns into a bad one the second time round?
I didn’t enjoy it so although I struggle to do movie marathons, I decided to watch ‘Almost Christmas’ for the second time. Ironically it was this time two years ago after the miscarriage that I decided to watch it as I needed something to cheer me up and get me in the Christmas mood, as I had my mind made up that Christmas 2016 was one of my least enjoyable Christmases for the obvious reasons..
So back to getting into the Christmas spirit, watching ‘Almost Christmas’ definitely didn’t help, but looking back there were some valuable lessons learned as I really tried to get into the film.
The main one I’ll highlight is this; family will always be the anchor that holds you through life’s storms.
Although I would give the movie a 1/5 , the basic storyline somehow allows you to be empathetic to the family’s grief after they lose the matriarch of the family.
Having lost our much longed and tried for baby just a few weeks shy of Christmas , I wasn’t concerned about what I would do for Christmas, what I would wear, how I would dress the table , and what I would cook.
After all, it didn’t mean nothing to have all the ‘glitz and glamour’ when deep down inside there was a deep pain that I thought would never go away.
Apart from God. I would say the only other thing that kept me going and helped me to remain strong was family. My family who are my blood, but also some of my close friends who I call family , and furthermore all the practitioners at my clinic who became a support system for me and my husband.
They were so integral during the grieving stage and after thinking about my journey I decided to make an impromptu visit them with Seb. They were surprised to say the least, and they loved him. As I walked in , I felt a lot of emotions, mainly a sense of relief , as well as the reality check that God had turned my situation around, I spent nearly three years walking in there with so many hopes, but yet sometimes leaving with my hopes deferred. This time round I walked in with my baby. How could I not see these practitioners I worked with for so many years as my family…?
This is a short and reflective post as we draw near to the new year and think about how different previous years were. I feel so happy and proud to have shared so much within 7 blog posts. The fact that within two years there is a significant difference to how I will celebrate Christmas, makes me feel truly thankful to God, but also everyone of you who have supported me from those darker times until now.
Even in my most vulnerable position to start this blog, and open about an issue that I used to be ashamed and embarrassed of, it is you guys who have helped me get to this point, and I’m so excited to see what the new year will bring for myself, but also you and your families.
And so, I have to encourage my readers (particularly those who are still on there journey trying to conceive , or may have just suffered a loss:
DON'T: • Feel bad about not participating in all the traditional family events. You're going through a painful time, and you need to concentrate on getting through the holidays… and damn its expensive buying new outfits all the time!
DO: • Spend time doing the things you like best: preparing a spectacular meal, taking long walks, Plan a special trip—, a luxurious resort holiday, a few nights at a cozy country inn- or just spend quality time as it doesn’t have to be expensive.
DON'T: • Pretend that there's nothing wrong and carry on as normal. Share your Feelings
DO: • Decide in advance how you will handle difficult and insensitive questions, because no matter what you do, they will come. Express your appreciation to those who have given you their love and support during the past year.
DO: • -Do try to help others in need. Visit an elderly or bed-ridden relative, volunteer at a hospital or nursing home. Cheering up other victims of the holiday blues often has a rejuvenating effect.
DO: • Set aside time to share your feelings with a partner or loved one. Allow yourself to feel sad, Infertility is a tough ordeal and you are entitled to those feelings. Try to talk to each other about your feelings. Your partner may be the only one who can help you through the hardest moments.
For everyone else, whichever way you spend your Christmas, if it’s with family, with friends, volunteering with the homeless, or if you don’t quite observe it the way society pressures you to, I pray for your peace, joy and happiness they matter most.
And so I will leave you with a quote from the movie that sums this post up.
Shalom, and Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year!