Hey You! Beautiful mother …It’s your day. Yes yours! Don’t stop reading just yet. I know you’re so used to the innocent biases within the public domain that associate the dated meaning of motherhood to making you believe that you only really deserve the card , the flowers , the breakfast in bed, the chocolates , the special meal... (and the list goes on ) if you actually gave birth to that child or child(ren). But guess what, whilst I was blessed to be honoured with that ‘title’ a year ago.I realise that in the previous years whilst it was hard; I didn’t have to spend that day feeling left out. I didn’t have to feel like every time at church they called out the mothers to collect their hampers , that it was my cue to painfully smile or get swallowed up by the ground.I have something to tell you...whilst I appreciate that this may not resonate with you all, I carefully but willfully say that this has been a day that all women should celebrate!Hear me out for a few more minutes... I see the mothers who have taken on that role.
I say role because it’s not just a title.
It’s the hardest yet most rewarding job we all face, and a massive responsibility that understandably is subjected to biological perspective of ‘bearing your own fruit’
But I say it’s a role/ responsibility because ‘to mother’ is also a verb , and that being said a powerful one too:
You’re a mother because you have selflessly brought up or given a child/ dependent an intense love and affection.I see you , the mother who has willingly and happily accepted that whilst child birth isn’t for her and maybe hasn’t happened for her, that she can enjoy her fur babies. Let’s also remember ‘Stepmothers’ another suggestive title , but let’s redefine this one- some of you have stepped up (pun intended) up and taken the mantel for the child(ren) who may never fully appreciate that you will never be like their biological mum, but you’re working your hardest to raise them as your own. Angel mothers, this day is too painful for your children. However as the saying goes, whilst you’re gone in our earthly realm, you’re not forgotten . In fact you are so remembered on this day with a pain that only those who have experienced it can hardly describe... Adoptive mothers, foster mothers I actually struggled to add this - because I don’t think you should necessarily have that title. But it’s worth recognising your commitment to take on a role that means so much to that child or child(ren) who need your undivided love and attention that could have been taken away from them... Single mothers, I also struggled with this one because it literally is just a title but one that completely allows us to appreciate and salute the hard work you put in everyday without a break. They’re holding it down for their family. I hope today but also on other days you get the rest and acknowledgement you deserve. Surrogate mothers your selflessness is indescribable. Having firsthand experience of infertility reminds me to never forget what you’re putting your body through to make someone else’s dream come true. God mothers, thanks for taking your role seriously. Remember it takes a village to raise a child , thank you for being part of that village. Grandmothers, to those that are still with us and those who have passed on , thank you for your prayers your wisdom and everything else you have instilled into the later generations of this family. You have built a firm foundation for us to go on.
To the woman who isn’t a biological mother but has earned herself that title from the lady who says ‘you’re like a mum to me’. It must feel so good and rewarding to be given that honour. Thank you for filling the void , and taking on that role. You have so much love to give , and we appreciate you.
And finally as my emotions for this day run deep due to feeling so grateful for how things have changed in comparison to previous mother’s days, my final shout out is to the mothers that triggered me to write this post:
To the mother who is waiting for two colourful lines on that stick they anxiously peed on, and may even be running out of options due to receiving the devastating diagnosis that they may never have a child of their own, and also the mother who is injecting herself / taking medication as we speak ; She’s thinking about her future family in what whatever shape or form it ends up to be. The fierce love she already has for the baby that isn’t born yet and is also not guaranteed is enough for us to say ‘Keep going"...
Just remember that after one more injection, scan, pill, pessary, you are one step closer to holding your baby. And the mother who didn’t get to even hold her baby, see them on the scan screen at the hospital or even celebrate the first , second, third year etc. Remember you’re still a mother. I pray you find the strength to go on today. I have no more words for the pain you must be feeling... Thank you for inspiring us all to never give up, but also well done to all of you . I hope you spend the day well, and treat yourself nicely because you deserve it !