Updated: Nov 25, 2018
I’ll keep this one short and sweet although ironically this post very briefly touches on the long and emotionally draining process of my journey.
I don’t feel that I was able to summarise in my very first post ‘breaking the silence’ what the journey had entailed , and I am still yet to touch on it in detail as a lot more happened before the IVF journey.
So the purpose of this post spread some positivity and hope for you to believe and trust that no matter what it takes . It will all be worth it...
And actually , this applies to everyone. In the moments where I was less consumed about my own personal journey battling infertility , I learnt that in this life every single person is waiting for that one thing that means so much:
Their spouse/partner, dream job, a family , a place they can call home , or even a phone call or reply in your DM (I joke, let me continue writing this on serious terms) LOL.
Seeing Gabrielle Union and michelle Obama, and now Jessie J talk about their fertility struggles has given me so much joy and more hope that the silence is being broken.
Although I don’t idolise celebrities, they are people that we are predisposed to thinking that their life is perfect. But that’s far from the truth. They are humans , and so as the saying would go; in life one thing that we all have in common is the fact that we are not exempt from life’s tragedies . Within this context, money cannot fix infertility . Yes you can pay for all the IVF cycles or fertility treatments you can afford. (on average £4000 per fresh IVF cycle), but you cannot control the success rate. ( I will be writing a post on some facts about IVF later), you cannot control or do anything more than all you’ve already done to get a quality embryo that will attach itself to your lining and accept that it’s not part of your life until age 18 (well speaking for the majority anyway).
You cannot control the chances of your baby surviving 9-10 months in the womb, and then surviving their journey through the birth canal...
I hope you understand that their isn’t any intention to encourage or breed cynicism, I’d like to think you’ve got the message; which is summed up by Michelle Obama accurately who says in her recent book called ‘becoming’;
“You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world's problems at once but don't ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own”
Another of my favourite scriptures which echo the truth of this statement is:
“...We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame... “Romans 5:3-5 NIV
I have to remember that there was much more before that happened before I accepted that IVF would be part of the story which has now unfolded into this beautiful little boy who now jumps on my head and plays with his dads ears when he cheekily is brought into our bed in Feb morning . I do wonder who , what and everything else the left over embryos could possibly bring to our family if we go via that route again.
But ultimately , every single step , every procedure, injection , check up , medication, every painful part of the process of those trying years filled with :
8 cycles of clomid
2 Failed IUI’s
2 cycles of IVF
This is what infertility looks like :
But this is what Hope looks like (for me)
It was worth the wait ...
And so , whatever you are waiting for ...
Don’t give up ...
Keep going ..
... It will be worth the wait.